Being an introvert leads me to long, internal reflections about how or why I reached one place or another. Going through old papers and memorabilia leads to reawakening those reflections after some years of mellowing, seeing where they led. It amuses me to collect them here..
Maiden
Three-year-old Priestess
It was a major event in my young life when I was chosen as Flower Girl at my uncle and aunt’s wedding. There was the preliminary excitement of being fitted for a beautiful lavender dress, with matching hat, gloves, and basket. There was the careful instruction on my important role in the ritual: I was to walk slowly down the aisle ahead of the bride and sprinkle rose petals from my basket for her to walk on.
I was very into my role, and very careful. I dropped one petal every 2 steps. I know this from personal memory, and of course there are pictures. It was real, personal, and very important. I still have the dress. I recall being disappointed at how quickly I outgrew it. I made it a point, when I was at Grandma’s house, to always know where that dress was.
Of course, there are also pictures from after the ritual, when the whole wedding party was lined up for formal photographs. I was not pleased with the very bright flashbulbs hurting my eyes, and I removed myself from the scene.
The Crown of Arianrhod
No, I didn’t learn about Arianrhod in my early childhood. She came later. What I did have was a yellow nylon nightdress, with a band of flowers at the neckline, when I was about 5 or 6. In my play, it was my special robes, and I was inclined to build altars out of what was at hand, using doll blankets for altar cloths. And, again, I was very disappointed when I outgrew that nightie.
Much later, attending Between the Worlds symposium, a workshop was a guided meditation focused on Arianrhod. We reached a point in the meditation where the Crown of Arianrhod was offered. When I accepted it and put it on my head, I was wearing that beautiful yellow priestess gown, because she who wore that gown was the aspect of me most appropriate to wear Her Crown.
Girl Scout
Since third grade, I have been, at my core, a Girl Scout and now a life member.
My Brownie initiation
The Presence in the Woods
My Love
Grandpa
I was 13 when Grandpa came down with cancer and died a few months after diagnosis. I prayed for God to intervene, during all those months. I was set on becoming a nurse when I grew up, and this cancer bumped me up to becoming a doctor and finding a cure. I still honor a few superstitions I developed in those years, for fear I might cause someone else to die.
MIT
Fencing
Moon Landing
Systems Engineer
Mother
First Marriage
My Children
Fencing Once More
Second Marriage
Grandma, then Mom
Crone
Elspeth of Haven, Resonating with the Crone
Dad
MDiv
CPE
Chaplaincy
Significant Events on instant recall
- I buried Dad wearing the mink-lined jockstrap Mom made for him when they were courting.
- Mom called me to come outside, and I watched with her and Frieda Kaericher as Sputnik II went over.
- Mom and Dad woke me up to come out and see the Aurora Borealis
- I witnessed the first Moon landing via NASA transmission as it was happening.
- I experienced a moment of cognitive dissonance when I accepted an offered handshake from a patient on the intake ward and he pulled Dad’s trick of kissing the back of his own hand.
- I heard Dad’s voice saying clearly in my head: Sandy you’re as full of shit as a sparrow in the spring.
- Mom guided my initiation as a Brownie.
- I recognized that Mom was dead.
